The other night Jeff and I walked passed a skate park while we were on vacation… We stopped and watched a group of guys about Alec’s age skate for a long time…. I kept thinking “Alec could do that “ and “Oh, he could do that too” and then I thought, I bet he would love those stairs, and that rail…. and oh look, Alec had those green shoes too… I wish I could remember what that trick was called… why isn’t Alec here to tell me? Why didn’t I listen more? Why didn’t I go watch him skate more?? So many what ifs and if onlys constantly go they my mind…

So, I took a moment, closed my eyes and listened to the trucks on the skateboard hit on the ramps and imaged my sweet boy was right there doing a pop- shove it followed by a kick flip…. or something along those lines.

Many day’s I can still imagine him beside me…. I still imagine him coming for dinner and the little red truck that is on the street is his. For a second I thought, we should come back here for our next family vacation because he would love this place. But then I realized I got caught up in my imagination.

I sure do wish I could hug that sweaty skateboarder…. I would hug him so long he tells me to “stop being a freak” and let him go. Guess what Alec, I will NEVER let you go!! You will always be with me. You are forever my favorite. Forever my first true love. Forever my baby, my baby you will be.